Wednesday, December 31, 2008

2008 Year-in-Review

2008 was a year of ups and downs, like most - there were some positive things that I feel good about, some choices I wish I'd made differently, some sad times, some happy....and here they are...

Things to Celebrate
1) I finished my ESL endorsement (a 20 credit-hour program at my local university - Tennessee Tech) and became certified to teach ESL. AND I finished that program with straight A's.
2) I started my 2nd master's program, a program called Cultural Studies in Educational Foundations at the University of Tennessee at Knoxville - 4.0 GPA after my first 3 classes this fall.
3) I joined Weight Watchers in July and am down 13 pounds, but more importantly have made a committment to a healthy lifestyle change. After a relapse in November, I DIDN'T QUIT.
4) I started my blog to keep myself honest and accountable and to try to connect with others on similar journeys
5) I've started to deal with the anxiety/panic issues that I've been struggling with for a long time, but especially since my father died in June of 2007 - so far that means I've been talking to my doctor about it, taking meds for it, and have been trying to take and monitor risks by not avoiding all the situations my anxiety begs me to.
6) Ryan and I celebrated our 4-year anniversary (4 years together, not married)
7) Barack Obama's historic election
8) I've been doing better with some very basic good habits such as taking my meds everyday and close to the same time everyday; doing physical maintenance like taking care of my nails, skin, eyebrows, flossing, etc.,; keeping the house from becoming a total wreck, staying hydrated
9) I turned 30...I guess that's something to celebrate :)

The Not-So-Great
1) My cat, Linus died in December
2) I had a rough November diet-wise, and gained back 9 of the 18 pounds I lost between July and October
3) Even though I did well in my classes, I did not avoid procrastinating, and while my GPA is 4.0, I know I could've learned the material more effectively
4) I did not make any progress whatsoever on some goals I've had for at least the past decade, namely - to learn Spanish, to become more crafty, to learn to cook some basic recipes, to learn to play a musical instrument, to build new friendships, and to become more socially and politically informed through regular reading of various news and activist outlets
5) I did not put as much effort and planning as I could have into my lesson plans for my kids at school - I allowed myself to get unbalanced with my focus on my master's program over my teaching job

Goals for 2009
1) To focus on small, in-the-moment choices - to not let one regretable decision, splurge or treat become a free-for-all for the rest of the day, week, or until the next nice, round event (New Year, birthday, post-holiday, etc.); to realize that each moment is a chance to start anew - I don't need to wait for an excuse to 'start over'; that I am never 'off plan' - this is a lifestyle change for me and I am not giving up my goal of having a healthy lifestyle - a healthy lifestyle can and must accomodate imperfections.
2) Regardless of the number on the scale or the size of my jeans to keep working towards becoming thinner (until a healthy weight), healthier, more athletic, and more aware of and responsive to my bodies needs. I hope that this means I reach my goal of 115 pounds because I think this is what will be right for my frame, but it might not and I'm okay with that. It's more important to me to do something active every day - even if it's a 10 minute abs workout or a walk around the block - just to stay in the habit. And it's more important to make healthy food-related choices. For me this means trying to eat whole, unprocessed, organic foods when possible; eating plenty of fruits and veggies; staying hydrated; eating healthy oils; getting enough protein in the form of beans, legumes and soy; taking a multi-vitamin/mineral; and eating whole grains. I also hope to try some more raw recipes, start sprouting more, and maybe if I can justify the expense (it's listed as my reward for dropping 50 pounds), buying a good quality juicer to help me with these goals.
3) To stay accountable by journaling here, logging my food/points in my WW Online Food Tracker, and/or journaling in a paper journal. I won't beat myself up over less-than-ideal choices, but I won't pretend they didn't happen either.
4) To do my best in my master's program by keeping a regular schedule of classwork, and not procrastinating or cutting corners.
5) I do best when I'm following a routine, so I'd like to set up and stick to a routine for my personal maintenance/hygiene, house maintenance/cleaning, exercise, classwork-time, job/school planning, and me-time.
6) To connect with old friends and strengthen connections with friends I've been lucky enough not to lose touch with
7) I have a great relationship with Ryan - nothing's wrong - but I don't want to take that for granted. This year I want to be careful and mindful of carving out us-time and not letting connecting with and spending meaningful time with him fall to the bottom of the list of my priorities because we're both busy and it's easy to focus on other things that seem more pressing.
8) I want to be more crafty. I'm so busy with work and school that I never pursue this goal, but how hard would it be to carve out half an hour a couple times a week to knit a few rows or learn a beading pattern? Not that hard and I'd be so happy if this time next year I could say that I had a skill, that I had made some of my Christmas gifts, that I had made progress on learning one of the things I hope to be able to share with and pass down to my future children.
9) To read for myself, and not just for work and school. I have soooo many books piled up on my bookshelves that I haven't read, and I want to start to make a dent in that. Sometimes I have a bad habit of not starting on something (a book, a project, a phone call, whatever...) because I'm not sure I'll have enough time to finish it. But, so what? If I just make a little time here and there, that has to be better than nothing. Last night I pulled a book, The Seven Daughters of Eve from my shelf and started reading before bed. It didn't take that long, it was a great way to wind down from the day, and I got through the first chapter. Definitely a simple way to enrich my life.

Phew! I think that's all for now. I can't wait to get started!

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Just checking in

I didn't post my weigh-in on Saturday because I was at my mom's house in Chicago and I think her scale is off - or mine is - anyway, I'm not exactly sure but there seems to be about a 4 pound difference. I did weigh, and the scale said 159, so that was probably 163 on my scale which would be a loss of .8 pounds. However, my eating hasn't been great since then, so I think I've pretty much stayed the same.
I haven't been binging which is huge for me, but I have had sweets and spinach artichoke dip and pizza...things like that. I have noticed that during a few stressful moments that happened to occur while I was eating, I stopped paying attention to my food, started eating much more quickly and mindlessly, and ate more than I otherwise would've. Definitely something I need to watch.
I'm not stressing about it. We got back home yesterday and have been busy trying to get the house together, run errands, unpack, reorganize and get ready for Ryan's family to come for a belated Christmas celebration this weekend.
Also - we bought a new TV! It should be here any minute along with the cable guy whose going to upgrade us to HD and DVR. We're really excited! I ordered a blu-ray player and Planet Earth (and some other stuff that came with it) on Blu-Ray. I can't wait to see how it looks!
We got a good deal, but it's still a huge expense. Our TV was from the 80s, so it was time, and with the digital tv signal switch coming up, it seemed like a good time. It's a 40" Sony KBR6 series. Hopefully we'll love it!

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Christmas Eve journal

Just a quick food journal update.
Last night I didn't eat any more after I posted except for the smallest bite of my favorite cookie that my mom makes - orange poppyseed.

Today, my stomach still feels like I'm not digesting my food well - like it's just sitting in my stomach - or really, it feels like it's sitting in my throat although obviously it's not. So I had a yogurt (Rachel's 1.5% fat pomegranate acai) for breakfast to see if that would help. Later I went out and got some probiotic supplements and I'm going to take those 3 times a day until I'm finished with the antibiotics.

Around lunchtime we went to Whole Foods to get some last minute things for Christmas, and we stopped at their deli. I got these sesame tofu spears and ate 2 of those, then I wound up sharing Ryan's tofu, brown rice (~1/2 cup) and veggies with peanut sauce. Yum. I also had 2 or 3 bites of his miso soup. I knew it would be good for my stomach, but it tasted too strongly like seaweed for me, so I didn't have much.

Later, I snacked on about 4 pieces of pistachio toffee (I'd say each piece is a little over 1 square inch), had maybe 2 orange poppyseed cookies and some small tastes of candycane cookies when I was testing to see if they were finished (probably a total of a quarter-sized piece - I don't even like those cookies and I swear there's no almond extract in them even though my mom insists she put it in). I also had several (maybe 10?) small brown rice crackers (those little, thin crisps).
For dinner I had a salad with oil and red wine vinegar and 1 latke with about a tablespoon of sour cream and some natural applesauce (no sugar added).

Tomorrow's Christmas! I don't think my stomach will let me overdo it - I'm just going to keep tracking but not counting points until I get back home from Chicago.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

goodbye to Linus

My sweet angel-cat, Linus died yesterday. He was 15. We were on our way to Chicago when he passed around 11 aM. We didn't get in until 8 PM, so we didn't get to kiss him goodbye. It's very sad and I'll miss him a lot, but I'm glad he went quickly once he got really sick. Sometimes cats will just hang on much longer than you think they possibly could, and it's so painful to watch. Linus had surgery to remove a tumor in the spring, and we think it came back. He started losing weight and getting jaundiced and was gone that same week. Poor baby - he was so loved.
When my dad died in summer of 2007 I made a photo album of him and that was very healing for me to make and for everyone to look through - maybe I'll do that for Linus too.

As for my food journaling...let's see...
Monday I had a Van's wheat free waffle (plain) for breakfast
On the 10 hour ride up to Chicago, we stopped at a Panera and I got the "You-Pick-Two" with half a greek salad (no olives) and half a mediteranean veggie sandwich and chips. I got an asiago bagel to go and ate that in the car a few hours later.
I also had an apple.
When we got to Chicago I wasn't really hungry. I just had 1 bite of Ryan's veggie lasagna and a half glass of white wine. I haven't figured out points and don't know if I plan to this week.

Today, so far, I had a Clementine at breakfast, a bite of a gingerbread cookie waiting in line at the bakery, and a salad and slice of deep dish pizza this afternoon. I feel like I'm not digesting very well, so even though I'm not hungry I just ate a yogurt to see if that helps (I'm worried it's from the antibiotics, so yogurt might counter that a bit). I'm not going to have dinner tonight. I'm making cookies with my mom, so I'll post later if I snack.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Off to Chicago

I haven't been tracking my food the past two days. Saturday I watched what I ate, but I didn't count points because I had so many left over from the week I knew I'd be fine. Saturdays are the last day of my WW week. And Yesterday I got involved in a wrapping project and didn't even think of tracking points. I had 2 slices (small) of leftover pizza for breakfast, potato latkes at lunch and then again later (total of 5 with apple sauce and sour cream). I had sherbet with a square of dark chocolate, a funsize mint 3 musketeers bar and...I can't remember what else. I didn't have much else to eat (latkes are filling!) but I want to track it. Darn it! This is why I need to write everything down the same day.

Anyway, yesterday I got up at 6:30 and spent 2 hours in Walmart trying to figure out what options I had for wrapping presents. I have guilt about throwing away HUGE quantities of paper (I read that this is mostly responsible for a 25% increase in trash around the holidays) and wanted the most recycled, recyclable and reusable materials I could find - but I still wanted it to be fun and cute. I decided to use just plain 100% recycled brown shipping paper and to decorate it with pretty satin and wired ribbon (potentially reusable). Then I came across these Martha Stewart pom pom animal kits and that's where my day went. I made 16 animals out of felt and pom poms - farm animals, forest animals, birds and bugs (cute ones). So I'm going to incorporate those, my family will think I'm crazy and they'll probably be right, but it'll be fun for me.

Right now we're getting ready to leave for Chicago for a week. It'll be cold today and there's snow on the ground with more coming tomorrow. So Ryan will get to see Chicago snow, which I'm happy about. But it looks like it's going to warm up and rain before Christmas, so - no white Christmas :( Too bad.

We're hoping to get out of town by 9 and that should get us to Chicago by 7 tonight. I'll bring my notebook journal and track food and exercise. I'm hoping to get on my mom's treadmill tonight. And on that note, I'm going to put a few of my new workout song selections on a cd and get in the shower.
Oh! By the way - I took 3 classes and got 2 As and one pass (in a pass/fail class) this semester. Yay! I'm still hoping to receive feedback on my final papers, but I'm happy for now.

Saturday, December 20, 2008


I lost 1.4 pounds during this week of strep throat and not being able to swallow much (averaging somewhere around 15 points a day). I was a little disappointed, but I guess it's true - you lose by eating all your points and exercising, not by starving and lying around like a slug in bed. (Although let me just say that if Ryan lost again by eating beer, ice cream, salty snacks, tons of cookies and basically whatever else he feels like putting in his mouth on a whim - I may scream!)

I did hit 2 sort of milestones, though. I now have less than 50 pounds to lose which is of psychological importance to me, I guess. And I am exactly 20% of the way toward my goal weight.

I'm off to get ready to brave Nashville to get my hair cut and colored on the last shopping weekend before Christmas. On the bright side, I'll have nice hair and finished shopping (mostly) after today. AND this will be a good test for my crowds/traffic induced anxiety. Yay! Fun! Right? (Ug)

Friday, December 19, 2008

Winter Break

Today was the last day of school before 2 weeks of winter break. About a week of that will be filled with holiday stuff and traveling, but we're going to try to make the most of the little time that we do have at home. We made a list of things we'd like to check out around town - since we've lived here we've done little but go to work and school and haven't given our little town much of a we're going to try to have fun locally as much as we can. I think breaks are so much less rejuvenating and they go by so much more quickly if they're not filled with fun, new activities. If we just sit around and watch movies and do the same old, same old, then break will fly by and we won't know where it went. In the past I've sat out of a lot of opportunities to try new things because of my body image. My body image is no better now, and my weight is actually much higher than most of those times in the past, but I'm just not going to do that'm going to TRY not to. I want to be productive - review school stuff, do my lesson plans, keep the house clean, stay on the healthy eating and exercise plan...But also try new things and have fun. That's the goal. We'll go hiking in some parks we've never been to, visit local shops, maybe go out to hear some music, try some new recipes, whatever seems good at the time.

I think I'm going to finish Christmas shopping tomorrow. We went to a local winery we'd never been to before today and got some gorgeous pottery and a few bottles of wine for some gifts. We also went to a local jewelry shop that had amazing stuff and got a few more things. Most of our shopping was done online and shipped to Chicago where we're spending Christmas. Tomorrow we need to get some truffles at a local Nashville chocolate shop we love (The Cocoa Tree), and a few other miscellaneous things. But we've definitely got it all under control. Ryan and I are going pretty small with each other because we want to buy a flat screen TV. My mom is very generously helping us pay for it, but it's still going to be an expense for us. I hope he won't be disappointed with what I got him. I'm not going to say any more about specifics in case he reads this and I don't know it :)

So - I'm feeling much better today. I woke up this morning and swallowed! That may not seem like a big deal, but when you've spent the week feeling like you have a slimey pine cone lodged in your throat, swallowing relatively pain free is pretty awesome! I still didn't eat much compared to normal and didn't exercise. I'm hoping to feel all back to normal sometime this weekend and get back on a normal eating/exercise schedule.

I didn't have breakfast, again.
For lunch (quick bite as we ran out the door to the winery) I had 3 light Wasa crackers with red pepper hummus. (2 points)
At the winery I had 2 tiny nibbles of cheese and several small sips of wine - it maybe added up to half a serving (1.5 points)
On the way back I ate 1/2 a peanut chocolate chip Odwalla bar (2.5 points)
While I was waiting for dinner I had ~5 sweet potato fries (1 point)
For dinner I had 3 vegetarian meat balls with 1 tbsp. of pesto, a cup of butternut squash soup and 2 slices of rosemary olive oil bread with 1 tsp. olive oil and a sprinkling of nutritional yeast. (9.5 points)
When I entered my points into the online WW tracker and realized I'd had NO fruit or vegetables all day (besides the fries and soup), I had about a cup of raw red cabbage and about 6 baby carrots (.5 points). I've been really low on the GHGs this week - mostly because I've been sick and haven't been eating that much. I'm definitely going to watch that this weekend now that my throat feels better.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

feeling a bit better

I had to stay home from work today, and I know I had a fever overnight, but I don't think I've had one since morning. I took my temp and it read 96, so I think what that actually tells me is that my thermometer needs a new battery....but I haven't felt feverish and the pain in my throat is a little less. I think the shot they gave me at the doctor's office really did speed up my recovery time.

I ate more today - still no appetite early.
For lunch I had 1/2 c. brown rice, about 1 c. of steamed veggies, 2 1/2 boiled vegetable dumplings and 1 tbsp. of Soy Vey teriyaki sauce (7 points)
For dinner I had about a cup (cooked) of whole wheat rotini, red sauce, and these vegetarian meat ball things with broccoli and 1 tbsp. of parmesan (6.5 points)
Somewhere in the day I had another ginger brew (3 points)
Total = 16.5 points
No exercise - still don't feel up to it. Maybe something light tomorrow.

I have a little bit of heartburn now - it's either from the red sauce or because I ate so little Tuesday and Wednesday, that even though today was still really light on the points, it's more than my stomach's used to right now. The label on my antibiotics says I can't take antacids with them - oh well.
I'm going to work in the morning for 2 hours - school gets out at 10 AM (don't ask me why they bother); doctor's appointment at 10:30 - just a checkup I'd already had scheduled before I got sick and that my Dr. wanted me to keep even though I was there yesterday...whatever.

And then it's 2 weeks of winter break! We're trying to figure out the best day to drive up to Chicago and not hit snow or ice. I'm looking forward to it because I get to see my family, but am also dreading it a little because my cat is really sick and this is a goodbye trip too. :( He's THE sweetest little angel in the world and I love him so much and I just can't stand to see him feel bad. really stinks when pets are sick.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

points update

today I skipped breakfast
I had a cup of cashew carrot ginger soup, a ginger brew and 4 wheat saltines for lunch (6 points)
I had a snack of rainbow sherbet (2 points)
And for dinner I had parmesan risotto and sweet potato fries - good and mushy for my throat (5.5 points)


I tried to go into work this morning. I check my temp when I woke up at 6 and it was normal, so I thought I'd give it a shot. I can't stand missing so much work. Especially this week when I have gifts and holiday activities planned for the's their Christmas program...
I went to the doctor over lunch and my fever was back - they did a throat culture, and it's strep. I got an antibiotic shot to speed up the recovery time, but the earliest I can go back to work is Friday and that's only if I don't have a fever for 24 hours before.
On the bright side, all this not eating means I was only .2 pounds more at the doctor's office than last time, but that's just because I haven't been able to eat much - and that kind of weight loss isn't necessarily permanent I've learned.

Anyway...still not exercising, not eating much more than soup and gingerale...don't know points yet for today. Yesterday I skipped breakfast, had gingerale, potato leek soup and wheat saltines for lunch. I was feeling better briefly later and had some noodles with broccoli and olive oil for dinner. 12 points total.

I'm off to rest.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

sick and miserable

Ug...I don't know what I have, but I'm not a happy camper. I had a really bad sore throat after school Monday and by early evening I was shivering really violently - so of course that turned into a fever.
I couldn't make it into work today. I couldn't get my fever down below 101 with ibuprofen. It finally went down when I took Tylenol this evening, but now it's back.
I'm going to try to go in to work in the morning and then leave for a doctor's appointment and come back. We'll see though...
Not exercising
Not eating much

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Weekends are tough!

Today I didn't get out to the park for my Sunday walk/jog in time to be back before noon football, so I had to push it to this afternoon. That's always dangerous for me. I don't like working out after I've eaten, so if I don't do it in the morning, it's hard for me to get motivated later. But I'm determined. So I stuck with it and got out for 1 of the 2 planned laps - a total of a little more than half an hour and ~4100 steps. I did my Denise Austin abs in the morning. So that's 43 minutes of exercise today - the 5th day in a row. Not bad!

Food today looked like this
Didn't eat until 11, so it wasn't really breakfast, but I had 2 clementines, 9 cashews and 3 Wasa light crackers with red pepper hummus (5 points)
Lunch - leftover vegetarian shepherd's pie and raw red cabbage (8 points)
Snack - apple with 2 tbsp organic crunchy peanut butter (6 points); later - light string cheese (1 point)
Dinner - 1 c. Wolfgang Puck hearty vegetable soup, 2 slices Ezekiel sesame toast with 2 tsp. olive oil, garlic powder and 1 tbsp. nutritional yeast (7 points)
Dessert - 1/2 c. vanilla bean ice cream, 4 squares Green & Black's chocolate and 3 mini candy canes crushed on the ice cream (6.5 points)

Total = 33.5 points - used all of my daily points plus 12.5 of my WPs; earned 3 APs

Again, I had the middle of the day cravings. They weren't there in the morning - I haven't had them for hours now...I just don't know what it is about me and the afternoon.

I have a busy week coming up. Finals are over, but I have a lot to catch up on at work. I'm being observed on Tuesday and before then I have to do a bunch of lessons and paperwork (this big form about my strengths and weaknesses and what I want to work on this year, a pre-observation form, etc...)
We have our work Christmas party Thursday evening and the kids have their program that day too. I'm going to do my holiday fun stuff with them on Wednesday and Friday is a half day before winter break. So Monday and Tuesday are the only days I can hope to get any work done with the kids. Since Ryan and I are going to Chicago for the holidays with my family, we're still trying to figure out when we can celebrate with his family. We want to do it the weekend after New Years so that we have time to shop the after-Christmas sales in Chicago, plan some fun raw recipes and decorate the house. His mom wants to come up this next weekend. She said she doesn't know what her plans are yet for the weekend we want to have them, so she'll get back to me sometime this week to let me know if they're coming. Now...I love his family, but my family and I are just much bigger on the whole planning ahead thing. So if they might be coming this weekend, that means I have to plan as if they are, otherwise I'll freak out if they tell me the day

So this week should be busy but fun. I'm just going to try to stay positive, think about small momentary decisions and have fun. I'm hoping to lose at least 2 1/2 pounds this week. I'm not going to plan to lose over Christmas, so I want to try extra hard this week to get a jump on it.

Oh for heaven's......Rod Blagojevich just hired R. Kelly's lawyer. I'm so embarrassed to be from Chicago...honestly...what an idiot! I heard Jessee Jackson Jr. speak once and loved him instantly. I really hope he's innocent in all this.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

finishing 1st restart week strong

Meals today:
Van's wheat free flax waffle and Horizon low-fat strawberry yogurt for breakfast (5 points)
veggie burger with double-fiber buns, fake bacon and 2% cheddar cheese and rosemary, garlic and olive oil fries for lunch (12 points)
1/2 cup vanilla bean ice cream with 1/3 serving Green & Black's dark chocolate and 2 crushed mini-candy canes for snack (6.5 points)
8 cashews and a clementine for a 2nd snack (2.5 points)
1 cup whole wheat spaghetti and pasta sauce with red peppers and gimme lean crumbled in it plus 1 cup steamed broccoli with lemon and 1 tbsp. parmesan for dinner (5.5 points)
Mint 3 musketeers for dessert (3 points)
34.5 total points

I used all my WPs this week, but had 11 APs left over. I'm a big eater, so I'll probably always use all my WPs and most of my APs. I'm only 5'3", so when I get close to my goal weight of 115, I'll only have 17 daily points and there's no way I can eat that little. Luckily I like to work out.

Workout: I'm trying to make Saturday my weight lifting day. I'm never motivated to do weight lifting after my aerobic workouts during the week, so it's best I get it over with on a day when I don't have to be anywhere. I was at the gym for 80 minutes, but I never know how to count weight lifting for APs, so I counted 60 min. I did biceps curls; shoulder –overhead presses; front raises and lateral raises, triceps – pull down and dips, chest - fly and press, back - row and pull-down, legs – abduction, adduction, curls, extension, press and calf press.
Plus the house is clean. So, that's 4 consecutive days I feel good about.

Ryan and I are going to Chicago to see my family for Christmas. We want to see his family here in Tennessee too, but it's a lot of driving for us, so we're trying to get them to come to our house. We're thinking of trying out some raw recipes. I have the Charlie Trotter's Raw book and Juliano's too. It seems like it takes a lot of prep, but could be worth it. Maybe we'll just try some raw crackers, cheese and maybe an appetizer like hummus with sprouted chick peas. The Charlie Trotters book has this thai noodles dish in which young coconuts take the place of noodles. It sounds fantastic, but where would I get young coconuts?!


I just weighed in and updated my weight-related stats in my stats section and my tracker which lives at the bottom of this page.
Weight is 165.2 - that's a loss of 1.6 from last week. Since last weigh-in I had 4 days not-tracking at all or being sensible about food at all, 3 days tracking and feeling good about my choices and 4 days of exercise, so I'm happy with a small loss.

Goals for today are to keep focusing on making the right choices in the small moments and not obsess about the big plan or being perfect, to do my weight-lifting at the gym, to do some work and clean some more.

I caught myself, while I was making my tea a little bit ago, starting to calculate "if I lose this much per week, that means this much per month, and I can be at ___ by then and maybe ___ by then...." and then I stopped it, because all that's ever done for me is provide maybe a momentary bit of something like dreamy euphoria and make it sooo much harder to see that 1) my life is only the sum of small, daily choices; 2) I'm in this to change my lifestyle, not obsess about numbers; and 3) to accept myself when my choices are not 100% perfect.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Holding Steady

Well - 3 days down, how long to go until healthy choices feel natural and effortless? I remember hearing that it takes 2 weeks to make a new habit stick, but I've been 'on plan' for 2 weeks plenty of times in the past I am...still battling. I guess it will always take effort, but maybe less and less?

I did fine today, but I had to battle hard through some tough cravings. I had a Van's wheat free flax waffle with a small banana and 12 almonds chopped up on top for breakfast (5.5 points). As always, I felt good after breakfast. I got a bunch of cleaning done - no cravings. I did a Denise Austin yoga abs 10 minute workout.
Then I had a great zucchini and garlic stir fry that Ryan made with that Soy Vey island teriyaki sauce and thai peanut baked tofu and 3 steamed veggie pot stickers for lunch (12.5 points). Kinda big lunch, but pretty healthy. Cravings started pretty much right away after I finished eating. I tried to focus on them - decode them. Part of me thought I was still hungry, and part of me couldn't tell what I was feeling. I knew where the feeling was - stomach area - but I didn't know what it was. It was a little disconcerting to honestly not know if I was hungry or not.

So, I drank an Emergen-C, snacked on 8 cashews (2.5 points), chewed some gum and did a little more cleaning. When I didn't feel better after an hour, I took a 45 minute nap, then got up and went out for a 50 min. walk with Ryan right away (because we were losing sunlight). And then I felt great! Stalling snacking is really important for me. If I give into the cravings there will be a snowball effect. If I can just put them off I usually do okay. Distractions (sometimes being unconscious for 45 minutes!) are key.

I had Ryan's shepherd's pie again for dinner and a salad with olive and flaxseed oils (1 tsp. each) and a tbsp. of balsamic vinegar (10 points). For dessert I had a cup of hot cocoa with 3 mini candy canes (4 points) while we watched Polar Express (which I really did not enjoy all that much surprisingly). The cocoa was a little too heavy for me, so I think if I make it again I might use 1/2 a package.
I wound up eating 34.5 points (My daily is 21). I hit all my Good Health Guidelines except for the dairy. I used 13.5 WPs. Tomorrow is the last day of my WW week and I still have 9.5 WPs, and after I work out tomorrow I should have 14 APs, so there's no way I'll go over. Tomorrow's weigh day. I'll check in with the progress. I don't care what the number is as long as it's down from last week's 166.8

early Friday update

I know I'm blogging a lot and I'm blogging loooong, but I'm using it as a potentially more public journal (although I'm too new and too newly not-private for anyone to probably be reading this...) & it's helping me, so I'm going with it.
I woke up for the 2nd morning in a row feeling pretty energetic - I think that's from limiting the sugar intake - I think my body hates being overloaded with sugar so much that I would need 12+ hours to 'sleep it off' - literally like a hangover. And it's been setting me up for bad day binge after bad day binge. I'd eat bad, feel to stuffed to exercise, feel guilty about not exercising, get discouraged and want to zone out watching tv, not get my work done, feel guilty about not getting my work done, eat more bad foods, sleep, wake up exhausted and start the day too tired to exercise or fight to make the good choices (tired = bad cravings, for me). So now, I fought HARD to break that cycle on Wednesday and woke up feeling better Thursday. I fought hard again to focus on the small moments and make good choices on Thursday and woke up feeling even better today. I wanted to get a little kick in the pants to keep the momentum going today, so I got up and weighed myself and I've lost a pound in the 2 days I've been having success so far. Yay! Now I'm going to put on happy music and clean the house.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

No Excuses

Wow! I actually had two good days in a row. It's very exciting to write 'good days' in my labels.
I can't believe how quickly I can change from feeling just horrible and humiliated and dejected to feeling pretty proud and confident. It's like - once I find that place where I get back on track (literally, I feel like a train that went off the track....and just got scooted back on for a smooth ride) I just snap out of it. I feel like, when I'm not on plan, there's this frantic energy...guilt, food obsession, saddness, humiliation, hopelessness, anxiety...all wrapped up in a depressing ball. When I manage to focus on the small decisions and just build my confidence back up - it's like that melts away...Good stuff!
Yesterday was rough - I was sooo exhausted, I got sidetracked several times, and I got upset by getting sent one of those obnoxious 'we say Merry CHRISTmas e-mails' at work**(see my rant below if you care to), but didn't use it as an excuse not to exercise or to get off plan. Today I was so sore from my workout yesterday. I felt like I had cramps and my arches of my feet were killing me. But I put in my old Step Reebok workout and did all 45 miserable minutes of it. (I DO like exercise, but it's freaking hard! Too many lunges!). I struggled and wanted to quit the whole time, and a few times I had to take a break to gulp water and stagger around the house gasping for air, but I got back on that darned step every time and felt great when it was over.
I didn't have many cravings today either. I ate an apple at breakfast, an Amy's tamale pie frozen thing (only 2 points!) at lunch, a Choco-walla Odwalla meal replacement bar for snack, Ryan's awesome shepherd's pie for dinner (fresh green beans, fresh corn, tofu, potatoes, asiago/parmesan/romano cheese blend baked on top). Yum! A chunk of raw red cabbage (I know, I'm weird - I could almost always eat red cabbage or broccoli...or chocolate). And then I had 1 1/2 Dove miniatures and a small square of Green and Black's dark chocolate for dessert. I recorded it all and wound up with .5 points left to spare :) I didn't even have to dip into my APs or WPs. Good, good day.

Oh! And! I just looked out the window and there's snow on the ground! Good because I love and miss snow. Good because I get a snow day to clean my house, do some reading, sleep and work out tomorrow. Not so good because I really wanted to finish some projects up with my kids at school. Not so good because some of the kids were supposed to get to go see a middle school production of The Nutcracker tomorrow. But...hey....I'm sure they're alright with the trade-off. I won't feel too bad for them :)

**I just don't see that issue as being about faith - #1 - it's very divisive and confrontational, #2 - I kind of see there as being 2 Christmases - there's the religious Christmas and the commercial Christmas. They're not the same - lots of secular people 'celebrate' the commercial version just as an American cultural tradition, and the religious version means a lot to a lot of I just think the whole argument about one corporation saying 'Merry Christmas' and another carrying stock for Kwanzaa and Hannukah and saying 'Happy Holidays' is less about religion than consumerism...and why (as this email said) does government not publicly favoring one religion over another 'take away our faith' (that's absurd! faith is personal...) and why do you feel that words like 'inclusive, sensitive and diversity' are "used to intimidate' you?! A lot of people dismiss those terms as PC b.s. but I take them very much to heart. As a teacher, the last thing I would ever want is any child to feel at all outcast or singled out because their personal, home-life/religion is not the majority and is therefore completely shunned. I think religion should be taught at home and at church and diversity taught at school. Schools shouldn't (and in my experiences, don't) prevent religious practice. Silent time is allowed for prayer...But, we shouldn't be seen as 'sponsoring' one group's faith. When I was in Chicago, I felt everyone was represented. Now, in the Bible Belt, it's all Santa and the music teacher even has a bulletin board up with a manger scene and a quote saying "Unto us a child is born". This would never fly if the school wasn't majority Christian. I really think it's inappropriate. We should cover holidays as cultural study and use the season as our focus. Everything doesn't have to be Santa and Christmas trees...there's so much we could do with just winter as a theme. For example, I have decorations up in my classroom - there's a Santa and reindeer window cling, and Christmas stocking garland, but there's also Hannukah garland and most of the stuff is neutral (snowflakes, snowmen, Nutcracker, love it...they don't need me to push religious content on them...I've seen Jehovas Witness children stay out of school around holidays like Halloween and Christmas because the schoolday is so overwhelmed with this just makes me sad)
#3 WHY was I sent this in my work email? Talk about inappropriate. #4 - The person who sent this to me is a fellow ESL teacher - someone who should really take to heart the effects that subtle instances of hegemony can have on the psyche of minorities....anyway...this issue just pushes my buttons...just one of those things, I guess. Arg!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

beating the afternoon slump

I decided that since I keep falling apart healthy lifestyle-wise in the afternoon that I should pay really close attention to what was happening in my mind and see if I could just focus on small moment to moment choices to beat the PM cravings, and then write it all down to see if that would help me in the future.
I noticed that I started to feel the first hints of cravings pretty early. I finished my lunch -Amy's black eyed peas, rice and veggie bowl and I wasn't hungry, but I was craving something sweet.
I had classes to teach all afternoon, of course, so I didn't have any opportunity to run out and get snacks. I decided that I was going to exercise when I got home. Iniside my head I was thinking 'but I'm so tiiiiiired' and 'I dont' waaaaaanna' (whine whine).

Earlier I posted today about being motivated by health scares, my upcoming Dr.'s appointment and Christmas with my family. And I have to say...when I was feeling iffy about exercise and wanted to just stop and get a bag of M&Ms or something equally unhelpful, my health didn't seem like a big motivator (it's so intangible...seems like I could 'start tomorrow' and that wouldn't make a big difference), and if it was just the idea of being fat when I see my family, that's nothing new and I don't know that it would've helped me push through either. But the idea of seeing my doctor having gained the weight I'd lost really pushed me. Maybe because she's not a friend or family member...I don't know. Maybe it's because it goes on my patient 'PERMANENT RECORD'. Ah! But the part of my brain that kept reminding me about that appointment seemed to work.

When I got home, I wanted to take a nap, but I knew when I woke up I'd need to eat and then I wouldn't be able to work out for a while...which means I probably wouldn't at all. So I changed into my workout clothes. Then Ryan came home and he wanted to return our movies from Blockbuster online to the store to exchange them for others. He just finished finals today and needed a break. I hadn't finished watching one of them, so instead of working out right way I told him we could finish watching it together. We did and half an hour later, I really didn't feel like working out.

I didn't give up though - the voice in my head kept nagging and yelling.
I argued back that I would just put on music and clean the house - trying to convince myself that that would be enough activity. But I knew it wasn't really the goal Id' set, so I compromised (with myself) and put the music on while I jumped rope. Jump roping is hard! I went in spurts (jumping then walking and dancing) for 15 minutes and then my mom called. We talked for almost an hour and normally I'd give up my exercise after getting sidetracked that long, but I didn't. I went for 15 minutes more, then did a 10 minute abs workout, entered the update on my exercise ticker, and felt really good about it. I like to see my little runner move on down the street.

I had a healthy dinner - butternut squash soup, broccoli with lemon and 1 tbsp. cheese and a slice of Great Harvest Dakota bread (the multi-grain kind with seeds), some olive oil and nutritional yeast. I had ice cream for dessert, but I feel okay about that because it was a reasonable portion and it was at dessert-time - not a binge - not all day. Baby steps.
I could've had more...I could always have more Ben & Jerry's Karamel Sutra. But I decided to chew a stick of gum instead. Problem solved.
And now I feel satisfied and proud of myself. I think I can build on this little bit of momentum.
And I think blogging about it will help me, when I look back on it, to know that it's possible to push through cravings and to make good choices - that I really will be glad at the end of the day.

I also logged onto my Weight Watchers account for the first time in a few weeks and entered my weight from last Saturday. I entered my points and activity. In addition to my lunch and dinner (above) I had a package (2 bars) of Nature's Valley peanut butter granola bars. And I had a bit of roasted red pepper hummus and Lite Wasa crackers (6) while watching the movie.
All in all not too bad. I'm allowed 21 points per day. I added 4 activity points and ate 33 points. (that 'reasonably sized' dessert was 11.5 points...I don't even want to know how many points what I would normally eat would add up to....yeah.....not good) So I dipped into 8 of my weekly points. I don't care. I tracked. I was honest. I tried. I feel alright.

Feeling motivated

I'm not going to pretend my eating was great yesterday - again I slipped up in the afternoon with chips and had ice cream after dinner. And dinner was leftover Indian take-out.
I was too exhausted to exercise. I'd only had a total of 8 hours of sleep over the previous two nights, so I tried to catch up last night, and I'll make another attempt at exercise today.

I'm trying to make some changes to my blog. I keep seeing all these great looking 3-column blogs and I want one too! So I poked around online and found a site that gives step-by-step instructions for changing the html to make a 2-column blog a 3-column one. Step-by-step is important for me because I know nothing about the matter. Anyway...I like the colors and the proportions, but I lost the picture that was behind my header and I can't get my gadgets to appear in the left column on the white background. Green's okay - not white. So I'm going to work at that some more when I have time. And by 'work at' I mean browse the internet looking for sites that can give me step by step instructions how to fix it.

I'm feeling particularly motivated today for a few reasons. I realize I have a doctor's appointment next week, and I will be sooo embarassed if I weigh much more than I did last time I was there in October. Last time I had lost 14 pounds from 176 to 162. Now I'm bordering on 167 and that's on my bathroom scale first thing in the morning without clothes! So...I realize 10 days isn't much time to fix the damage, but I certainly don't want to make it any worse. Secondly, Christmas is right around the corner and last time I was 'home' in Chicago over fall break in October I was doing really well. I had lost 18 pounds. Come to think of it, that's where I got OFF track. So - it's pretty much the same thing as the doctor's appointment - it just feels back to see someone while you're in a rut, when the last time they saw me I was at such a high point.
And third, I'm really starting to FEEL the weight. The past few weeks, I knew the scale was moving in the wrong direction, but I didn't feel terrible. This week my pants are tighter, my left knee is getting sore again, and last night I woke up pouring sweat with my heart pounding. I don't remember having any nightmares, so that freaks me out. I don't want to ruin my health.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Finished with Finals! Finally!

Wow - I'm seriously exhausted, but I'm finished! I worked all through the weekend and all day yesterday. I slept about 5 hours Sunday night and 3 1/2 last night, and I'm definitely one who needs the 8 hours of sleep, so I'm wiped out, but soooo happy it's over.
I hope I get A's in all my classes. I worked really hard all semester, and especially on my History of Education final paper. I did that paper on the history of de jure and de facto segregation in the Chicago Public Schools since Brown v. Board of Ed.
I only started my paper for my other class (Issues in Cultural Studies) once I'd finished the first one (which was a research paper and much longer) yesterday. So...that one's not very good. It's on stereotypes of teachers in the media. I found 7 - there's probably more. 1) the cheerful and politically neutral nurturer, 2) the boring, droning, detached figure at the front of the classroom (Bueller....Bueller), 3) the morally superior schoolmarm, 4) the strict, cheerless schoolmaster (Ichabod Crane), 5) The grouchy, teachers’ lounge gossiper suffering from burnout (Mrs. Krabappel), 6) the charismatic and rebellious, savior/hero (soo many of these - Mr. Keating from Dead Poets Society is a good one), and 7) the perfect teacher who effortlessly plays all unfilled roles at all times for her students. I worked on it until I hit a wall around 3:30 AM and couldn't do anymore. So I submitted it. I'd have to get a D on the paper to not get an A in the class, so I'm not too worried,'s embarrassing to submit crap.

Sooo - in other news, Sunday was my big restart. That doesn't mean that everyday is going to be perfect or that I'm going to keep re-declaring restarts if I mess up, but it does mean that I'm going to weigh every week, always consider myself "on plan" and hold myself accountable by posting here. I set 2 goals for Sunday and Monday knowing I would be completely overwhelmed with finals. I wanted to exercise and finish my finals (as my way of managing stress). I did exercise on Sunday, but Monday there was no time. I plan to exercise after a nap this afternoon. Sunday I did step Cher aerobics and an abs workout.

My goals for today are to eat healthy foods, exercise, clean up at home and get to bed early.

Saturday, December 6, 2008


So - yesterday I got 7 1/2 hours of sleep, but I almost fell asleep at work when I didn't have any students. I almost fell asleep at my meeting after work. I tried to watch Princess Mononoke with Ryan and fell asleep. So I finally threw in the towel and went to bed at 8. And I just woke up at 7:30!!! Oh well - I guess I needed it.
I had missed my weigh in for the past 2 weeks. I weighed at 166.8 earlier in the week and that was what the scale said today. Not too great, but nothing more or less than what I expected.
Tomorrow is my official restart. I like to weigh on Saturday and start my week on Sunday.
So, I'm just going to focus on the positive until the restart.
I got PLENTY of sleep.
I didn't buy candy bars or do anything that could be considered bingey.
I got a little work done.
I stayed hydrated.
I...ummm....I think that's it.
Today I'm writing my final paper for my History of Education class ALL DAY. I can't wait until that's over!

Friday, December 5, 2008

Blech...still sliding

I need to stop making promises when I post. It's getting annoying to read them back to myself.
So, Wednesday and Thursday both started really well in terms of diet. I had my yogurt, raspberry and Ezekiel cereal for breakfast both days and a big salad with healthy oils for lunch both days. Wednesday I had baked tofu on top, and Thursday I had garbanzo beans.
But I had not exercised the day before, I did not get enough sleep, and I did not get enough homework done to manage my stress level. So - I hit 1 out of 4 of my goals that are essential for having a successful day. Why on Earth would I be surprised that I slipped up?!?!
I get into trouble in the afternoon for some reason. I need to figure out why that is. I have no cravings the whole first half of the day even though, yesterday anyway, I was completely exhausted. I actually felt more energetic after noon, but by 3 I was buying M&Ms and Reese's Pieces at the grocery store. And Wednesday I was at Walmart picking up something else and wound up with a bag of mini Mint 3 Musketeers, marshmallows, a Hershey's bar and a bag of Smartfood popcorn. I ate a bunch, got disgusted with myself and threw the rest away.
But since I'm eating healthy in the AM and feeling more awake in the afternoon, I don't really think it's related to an energy dip. I'm not starving in the early part of the day....Hmmm....
I also don't have cravings at night - I feel really unwell if I eat within a few hours of bedtime. So I just need to do something about ~2-6PM and that should be fine. I'm going to look into this though. There has to be some reason I only fall apart in those hours. Maybe if I eat a healthy carb snack, go to the gym, get home and shower, make dinner and clean up, I can fill those hours and sidestep disaster. Maybe studying right after work is not good for me because study-time is prime snack-time as well. I guess I'll find out after finals, because right now I have no choice about when to study - study-time is all the time.
My goals for today are to get a lot of studying done and to not eat junkfood. That simple. I don't feel like I can manage anything more. I need to cut myself some slack but not completely fall apart until after finals are over on Monday. I feel completely confident that I'll have a better time getting back on track next week. We'll see though.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

1st everyday post

I don't know why I said I'd start posting everyday before going out of town for Thanksgiving. Now I'm back and ready to be accountable. Today, I didn't get enough sleep, I'm way behind on my final papers for school and super stressed out about it, and I haven't exercised yet, but my diet has been good so far.
I had plain, lowfat, organic yogurt with fresh raspberries and 1/2 cup of Ezekiel flax cereal for breakfast.
I just finished a big salad with baked tofu and my standard dressing (2 tsp. olive oil, 2 tsp. flax oil, 2 tbsp. vinegar, basil and black pepper).
I drank my tea in the morning - trying to stay hydrated.
I took my multi-vitamins.
So far so good.
I can't wait until next week when finals are over - I'll feel like it's a new start and a fresh chance to manage my schedule the way I want it to be, not the way it needs to be because I procrastinated.

Friday, November 21, 2008

I'm not giving up

So...the week started out well on Sunday. I exercised both days of the weekend, I ironed and set out all my clothes for the week, I packed my lunch for Monday. But, I did NOT have anywhere near the amount of studying I needed to have done finished by the start of the workweek, and, as I knew it would, that placed a huge amount of stress on my shoulders and set me up for not enough sleep and too high anxiety to easily stay on top of my plan.

Monday through Wednesday I ate terribly (sugary things and a lot of Indian buffet on Monday), didn't sleep enough, worked non-stop for school and failed to exercise. I woke up in the middle of the night on Tuesday with my heart racing and covered with sweat. I don't remember having a nightmare. That, combined with my anxiety creeping steadily higher and an overall blech feeling caused me to start worrying about my health.

So, Thursday I recommitted myself to my goals and reminded myself about the reasons I need to be in control of eating, sleeping, exercise and stress - for long term health and happiness. I also reminded myself about some short term goals. When I saw my doctor October 21st, I had lost 14 pounds since the last appointment, and it felt really good to see that written on my chart and hear how proud my doctor was. I really want to see a few more pounds off when I go back in December.
Also, no matter what, on any occasion for family gathering, someone is going to say something about my weight - either asking if I've lost or making some sort of comment about how hard it is to lose weight with the intention of commiserating with me...empathizing or something...So that's not fun, but if my weight is going to get attention, I'd prefer that it's the former reason. Thanksgiving is next week, so I haven't given myself much of a chance to lose by then, but Christmas is almost 5 weeks away, so maybe I can lose 10 pounds and fit comfortably in my 14s by then. (I never thought 14s would be a goal size, but....anyway...that's where I am)

I had a good day yesterday with my food choices. I logged my diet. I got all my schoolwork done. I didn't exercise. On Thursdays I don't get home until 9:30 and there's just no time. I'm going to try again to stay on plan, log everything, exercise, stay on top of cleaning, sleep enough, pace myself with work, and post about it all every day. With the bad choices I mad Monday - Wednesday, I don't think I can expect to lose anything this week, but if I stay the same, that won't be too bad. I'm still 11 pounds down from when I started losing in July, and I'm determined not to let those 11 come back. That means I have just under 50 pounds to lose. A daunting task, but better than 61. I'm setting my birthday July 18th as my goal date.

I'll try to post tomorrow. I'm also trying to figure out how to post my before pictures and adjust the layout of by blog, but I'm not very tech savy, so no promises.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Ever hopeful

This was really a terrible week for my diet. No exercise. Lots of peanut butter cups consumed. I had a pile of them and felt like I HAD to eat them. The strange thing is, I was sooo happy when I realized they were gone. Very relieved. I didn't really want them, I was just eating them compulsively. So...obviously that has to stop.
I wasn't good with my other goals either. The week was high stress. I slacked a little on sleep. Didn't keep up with chores. Crammed schoolwork in last-minute. I'm not going to beat myself up about it though. I think I just need to try to have a better day today and take it one day at a time.

Thank God I'm in the home stretch for school. I have a bunch of readings to catch up on that are due next week, but my last BIG projects are final papers due the first week in December. And then it'll be over!

I'm trying to decide what to do next semester. If I only take 1 class (which is what I feel is right for my health), I won't be able to finish in 2 years. That would be fine, except if Ryan graduates and decides not to attend the fast-track grad school program here, we'd be moving before I'd finish the program. So...I'll probably wind up taking 2 classes. If I stay ahead of things on schedule (and if professors give a week's notice for assignments), I should be okay...not great, but okay. Is there any tactful way to ask professors ahead of time if they are committed to giving at least a week's notice for readings and assignments and if they are in the habit of giving prompt feedback. In the 3 classes I have now, I don't have a single grade in one of the classes, very little informal feedback either...and the semester is almost over! In one of the classes I have feedback in the form of letter grades, but not responses to emails and direct questions about assignments. The 3rd class is pass/fail, so I'm not sweating it...but no concrete feedback there either. That just doesn't work for my personality style.

I've added a whole bunch of stats to my blog (over on the left). I'm going to take my measurements tomorrow because Sunday is the first day of my week on Weight Watchers. I don't know if I have any measurements from when I was 176. If I do, I'm not going to look for them this weekend.

So...I think I'm going to head off to the gym. I'm trying to make Saturdays my one big weight lifting day - when I do ALL the muscle groups. During the week, I'm just sooo unmotivated to do 2 things at the gym (aerobics & weights), and I think it's more important that the aerobics happen consistently through the week (I mean...I can't just do all my aerobics on Saturday...that would be at least 5 hours...)
Wish me luck!

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Well...that went poorly

So, Sunday I did okay. I slept enough Saturday night, I finished my assignments due Monday, I exercised - Ryan has a blister so we didn't go running, I just did my Cher step aerobics video in the living room :). But I didn't track my points after breakfast, and I don't remember everything I ate so I can't go back and do it now. I know I had a few leftover from Halloween mini M&M packages and I know I finished the last bit of coffee ice cream we had. So...not to great.

Monday was a disaster. I didn't get enough sleep Sunday night, and I really think that is a huge key for me. I just fall apart when I'm too tired. My kids and the other teachers all notice and ask what's wrong with my eyes and why they look so dark. (I don't know why, but I tend to get very dark circles...maybe it's my skin - but, anyway, lack of sleep shows up very obviously on my face). So, that was bad. I didn't get much accomplished in the way of schoolwork. I didn't exercise at all. I didn't track my points and I ate candy corn, junior mints AND a chocolate marshmallow type of thing. I did good on my water and I did eat 3 pretty nutritional meals in addition to the junk. Probably only 3 fruits/veggies though...that's not like me.

So, now it's Tuesday. Election anxiety day. I'm an Obama supporter in a red state, but I'm wearing my Obama shirt today anyways! I got very nearly 8 hours of sleep last night. I'm about to go do a quick abs workout. I'm packing my gym clothes so I can go to the gym after work. There are no kids at school today - just a teacher inservice, so there's a chance we'll get out early. And, I've already planned my meals which I'll post about later if I actually stick to it. (I know...great attitude). I'm going to try to take a nap when I get home because there's no way I'll be able to sleep until the election is called. So - here I go. Restart take 3!

Saturday, November 1, 2008

My first blog

Hi! I'm creating this blog to serve as a diary for my quest to get healthy and lose weight. I have struggled with my weight for most of my life, but decided to take the reigns and get healthy this summer. I joined Weight Watchers July 27, 2008 and by mid-October I had lost 18 pounds. I've gained back 2-3 pounds in the weeks since, and think that an online diary will help me reverse the trend before it gets out of control. I am going to focus on holding myself accountable for sleep, stress management, diet and exercise by posting about it here. My goal for tomorrow is to get 8 hours of sleep, go for an hour-long run/walk with my boyfriend first thing in the morning, track my points on, and complete my class work for the next week. I teach elementary ESL full time, but I am also taking 3 grad classes at my state university and am struggling with balancing everything. I know that my body is extremely sensitive to lack of sleep and poor stress management, so if I want to lose weight and have enough energy for my students and myself I need to make sleep and health a priority.