Friday, May 15, 2009

not fighting myself

This week has gone really well so far. I already feel like the healthy choices I'm making are becoming a part of my natural routine.

Since I regained all the weight I'd lost, and the last part of that pretty rapidly, I set a goal of losing 6 lbs this week with a Monday weigh day. That's just for the first week back in this thing. So far I've lost 4.6 with 3 more days to go! I'm focused on making long term lifestyle changes, but also on losing the pounds...and I'm comfortable with that as long as I don't get obsessed or down on myself because of a number on the scale. But so far so good!

Every day this week I've had the same breakfast and lunch and that seems to be working well for me. I've had 5.3 oz. non-fat, plain Greek yogurt with strawberries and Ezekiel flax cereal for breakfast, a big salad with either tempeh or garbanzo beans, sunflower seeds and a dressing of 1 tsp. each olive and flaxseed oils, red wine vinegar, basil and pepper for lunch and a different snack and dinner. Monday through Thursday it's been...

Snacks: veggies and hummus, string cheese and apple, banana (and unplanned corn chips with salsa), rice cake with peanut butter and apple
Dinners: steamed veggies, rice and tofu; veggie, cheese and hummus sandwich; leftover steamed veggies and rice with tempeh; cheese and bean quesadilla with roasted veggies

I've exercised everyday too. I want to do about an hour a day but my most important goal is just to move everyday even if it's just a walk in the neighborhood.

Monday: 1 hour on Precor AMT; 20 min. walk around the neighborhood
Tuesday: 30 min. of C25K program day 1; back and biceps; step and abs class (This class nearly killed me!!! But I think I'm going to go back next week)
Wednesday: 53 min. walk in the neighborhood; chest and triceps (could've done better this day but I came home after work to watch the BL finale I'd recorded instead of going to the gym because I was worried I'd hear the outcome...doesn't make much sense - oh well)
Thursday: Cher step aerobics video
Friday: I'm planning to go do a 10 min. abs video now, then after work I'm going to do the 2nd day of the C25K program for 30 min., get on an elliptical for an hour and do a quick shoulder workout

I can't emphasize enough how much of a difference ending the grad-school semester and making the decision to take a break has made for me in terms of healthy decisions! I don't know how I feel about the idea will-power, but my sense is that it can play a small part in helping me to make good decisions in the moment, but that it's no match for feelings of shame, guilt, helplessness or being overwhelmed. I was fighting a losing battle trying to use will-power to push me through a situation that I just wasn't able to handle right now and because I was setting myself up for failure and more importantly, feeling like a failure, I was never going to be able to use 'will power' to have eating/exercising successes.

It's still spring and school's not out, but I feel like I'm setting the foundations for a great, productive summer :)

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