twitpics...again

Even though I had the real food right here in front of me I always liked seeing my meals pop up in picture form & for the world to see (theoretically) on this page, so I'm going to try that again.
I just posted my breakfast (a banana and a carton of strawberry yogurt), lunch (salad with lots of veggies and garbanzo beans - dressing is 1 tbsp. flaxseed oil, 1 tsp. olive oil and 2 tbsp. red wine vinegar), snack (apple and cashews - some of which may wind up in my salad), and my mulitvitamins.

I'm sort of cringing as I type this 'plan-for-the-day' because the way I am with my 'plans', I keep telling myself I should just post what I do instead of what I kind of think I'm maybe going to do.
But anyway, I'm going to try to write down what I eat and enter it into SparkPeople the next morning while I have my tea. (I drink a huge, 3 cup mug of tea every morning to get a jump on hydration, but it takes me awhile). And Ryan and I have made a committment to each other to, at minimum, go on a 20 minute walk around the neighborhood every day that I'm here in the evenings (i.e., not Monday or Thursday). I feel good this morning, so we'll see how it goes :)

Weigh-Day Restart

Up 2.8 lbs. to 167.8 today. And really, really feeling it. Pants are tight, I notice the weight on my body, I feel heavy.
This is a bigger number than when I declared my restart on December 7th.

So - I decided that because of that and because this is the first day of my 11-day detox, I'm going to declare a NEW restart day today.

I never really did much of a diet restart anyway. I didn't feel ready or into it for some reason, but now I do.

I'm going into this new restart and detox caught up (pretty much) on both work-work and school-work, with some new good habits (reading before bed, sleeping enough, taking a multi everyday, exercising more consistently, staying on top of chores and personal grooming type things)

So - I updated my measurements and things in my stats to show today as day zero. They were pretty much the same as when I'd taken them in November - about a quarter inch gain all around.

I don't know why I'm not more upset about the big gain this week. Probably because it's my 1st day of TOM, and I ate salty food much later last night than I usually eat anything - so I know it's probably some water retention. And also because this is a new day and I can't control last week. I knew my eating was bad. My exercise was better than it's been in months, though, so I'm also trying to count little victories.

Plus - it's like taking a bad picture when you're about to start a new diet or exercise regimen and thinking "Oh well, at least that'll make a good before picture" :)
At least 167.8 is a good before weight, right? :)
Here's hoping for a good restart/detox day!
I'll try to stay on top of TwitPics (I got out of the habit when their site crashed last week) and update detox progress daily.
Happy Saturday!

Finished with Finals! Finally!

Wow - I'm seriously exhausted, but I'm finished! I worked all through the weekend and all day yesterday. I slept about 5 hours Sunday night and 3 1/2 last night, and I'm definitely one who needs the 8 hours of sleep, so I'm wiped out, but soooo happy it's over.
I hope I get A's in all my classes. I worked really hard all semester, and especially on my History of Education final paper. I did that paper on the history of de jure and de facto segregation in the Chicago Public Schools since Brown v. Board of Ed.
I only started my paper for my other class (Issues in Cultural Studies) once I'd finished the first one (which was a research paper and much longer) yesterday. So...that one's not very good. It's on stereotypes of teachers in the media. I found 7 - there's probably more. 1) the cheerful and politically neutral nurturer, 2) the boring, droning, detached figure at the front of the classroom (Bueller....Bueller), 3) the morally superior schoolmarm, 4) the strict, cheerless schoolmaster (Ichabod Crane), 5) The grouchy, teachers’ lounge gossiper suffering from burnout (Mrs. Krabappel), 6) the charismatic and rebellious, savior/hero (soo many of these - Mr. Keating from Dead Poets Society is a good one), and 7) the perfect teacher who effortlessly plays all unfilled roles at all times for her students. I worked on it until I hit a wall around 3:30 AM and couldn't do anymore. So I submitted it. I'd have to get a D on the paper to not get an A in the class, so I'm not too worried, but...still...it's embarrassing to submit crap.

Sooo - in other news, Sunday was my big restart. That doesn't mean that everyday is going to be perfect or that I'm going to keep re-declaring restarts if I mess up, but it does mean that I'm going to weigh every week, always consider myself "on plan" and hold myself accountable by posting here. I set 2 goals for Sunday and Monday knowing I would be completely overwhelmed with finals. I wanted to exercise and finish my finals (as my way of managing stress). I did exercise on Sunday, but Monday there was no time. I plan to exercise after a nap this afternoon. Sunday I did step Cher aerobics and an abs workout.

My goals for today are to eat healthy foods, exercise, clean up at home and get to bed early.

1st everyday post

I don't know why I said I'd start posting everyday before going out of town for Thanksgiving. Now I'm back and ready to be accountable. Today, I didn't get enough sleep, I'm way behind on my final papers for school and super stressed out about it, and I haven't exercised yet, but my diet has been good so far.
I had plain, lowfat, organic yogurt with fresh raspberries and 1/2 cup of Ezekiel flax cereal for breakfast.
I just finished a big salad with baked tofu and my standard dressing (2 tsp. olive oil, 2 tsp. flax oil, 2 tbsp. vinegar, basil and black pepper).
I drank my tea in the morning - trying to stay hydrated.
I took my multi-vitamins.
So far so good.
I can't wait until next week when finals are over - I'll feel like it's a new start and a fresh chance to manage my schedule the way I want it to be, not the way it needs to be because I procrastinated.

I'm not giving up

So...the week started out well on Sunday. I exercised both days of the weekend, I ironed and set out all my clothes for the week, I packed my lunch for Monday. But, I did NOT have anywhere near the amount of studying I needed to have done finished by the start of the workweek, and, as I knew it would, that placed a huge amount of stress on my shoulders and set me up for not enough sleep and too high anxiety to easily stay on top of my plan.

Monday through Wednesday I ate terribly (sugary things and a lot of Indian buffet on Monday), didn't sleep enough, worked non-stop for school and failed to exercise. I woke up in the middle of the night on Tuesday with my heart racing and covered with sweat. I don't remember having a nightmare. That, combined with my anxiety creeping steadily higher and an overall blech feeling caused me to start worrying about my health.

So, Thursday I recommitted myself to my goals and reminded myself about the reasons I need to be in control of eating, sleeping, exercise and stress - for long term health and happiness. I also reminded myself about some short term goals. When I saw my doctor October 21st, I had lost 14 pounds since the last appointment, and it felt really good to see that written on my chart and hear how proud my doctor was. I really want to see a few more pounds off when I go back in December.
Also, no matter what, on any occasion for family gathering, someone is going to say something about my weight - either asking if I've lost or making some sort of comment about how hard it is to lose weight with the intention of commiserating with me...empathizing or something...So that's not fun, but if my weight is going to get attention, I'd prefer that it's the former reason. Thanksgiving is next week, so I haven't given myself much of a chance to lose by then, but Christmas is almost 5 weeks away, so maybe I can lose 10 pounds and fit comfortably in my 14s by then. (I never thought 14s would be a goal size, but....anyway...that's where I am)

I had a good day yesterday with my food choices. I logged my diet. I got all my schoolwork done. I didn't exercise. On Thursdays I don't get home until 9:30 and there's just no time. I'm going to try again to stay on plan, log everything, exercise, stay on top of cleaning, sleep enough, pace myself with work, and post about it all every day. With the bad choices I mad Monday - Wednesday, I don't think I can expect to lose anything this week, but if I stay the same, that won't be too bad. I'm still 11 pounds down from when I started losing in July, and I'm determined not to let those 11 come back. That means I have just under 50 pounds to lose. A daunting task, but better than 61. I'm setting my birthday July 18th as my goal date.

I'll try to post tomorrow. I'm also trying to figure out how to post my before pictures and adjust the layout of by blog, but I'm not very tech savy, so no promises.

Ever hopeful

This was really a terrible week for my diet. No exercise. Lots of peanut butter cups consumed. I had a pile of them and felt like I HAD to eat them. The strange thing is, I was sooo happy when I realized they were gone. Very relieved. I didn't really want them, I was just eating them compulsively. So...obviously that has to stop.
I wasn't good with my other goals either. The week was high stress. I slacked a little on sleep. Didn't keep up with chores. Crammed schoolwork in last-minute. I'm not going to beat myself up about it though. I think I just need to try to have a better day today and take it one day at a time.

Thank God I'm in the home stretch for school. I have a bunch of readings to catch up on that are due next week, but my last BIG projects are final papers due the first week in December. And then it'll be over!

I'm trying to decide what to do next semester. If I only take 1 class (which is what I feel is right for my health), I won't be able to finish in 2 years. That would be fine, except if Ryan graduates and decides not to attend the fast-track grad school program here, we'd be moving before I'd finish the program. So...I'll probably wind up taking 2 classes. If I stay ahead of things on schedule (and if professors give a week's notice for assignments), I should be okay...not great, but okay. Is there any tactful way to ask professors ahead of time if they are committed to giving at least a week's notice for readings and assignments and if they are in the habit of giving prompt feedback. In the 3 classes I have now, I don't have a single grade in one of the classes, very little informal feedback either...and the semester is almost over! In one of the classes I have feedback in the form of letter grades, but not responses to emails and direct questions about assignments. The 3rd class is pass/fail, so I'm not sweating it...but no concrete feedback there either. That just doesn't work for my personality style.

I've added a whole bunch of stats to my blog (over on the left). I'm going to take my measurements tomorrow because Sunday is the first day of my week on Weight Watchers. I don't know if I have any measurements from when I was 176. If I do, I'm not going to look for them this weekend.

So...I think I'm going to head off to the gym. I'm trying to make Saturdays my one big weight lifting day - when I do ALL the muscle groups. During the week, I'm just sooo unmotivated to do 2 things at the gym (aerobics & weights), and I think it's more important that the aerobics happen consistently through the week (I mean...I can't just do all my aerobics on Saturday...that would be at least 5 hours...)
Wish me luck!

Well...that went poorly

So, Sunday I did okay. I slept enough Saturday night, I finished my assignments due Monday, I exercised - Ryan has a blister so we didn't go running, I just did my Cher step aerobics video in the living room :). But I didn't track my points after breakfast, and I don't remember everything I ate so I can't go back and do it now. I know I had a few leftover from Halloween mini M&M packages and I know I finished the last bit of coffee ice cream we had. So...not to great.

Monday was a disaster. I didn't get enough sleep Sunday night, and I really think that is a huge key for me. I just fall apart when I'm too tired. My kids and the other teachers all notice and ask what's wrong with my eyes and why they look so dark. (I don't know why, but I tend to get very dark circles...maybe it's my skin - but, anyway, lack of sleep shows up very obviously on my face). So, that was bad. I didn't get much accomplished in the way of schoolwork. I didn't exercise at all. I didn't track my points and I ate candy corn, junior mints AND a chocolate marshmallow type of thing. I did good on my water and I did eat 3 pretty nutritional meals in addition to the junk. Probably only 3 fruits/veggies though...that's not like me.

So, now it's Tuesday. Election anxiety day. I'm an Obama supporter in a red state, but I'm wearing my Obama shirt today anyways! I got very nearly 8 hours of sleep last night. I'm about to go do a quick abs workout. I'm packing my gym clothes so I can go to the gym after work. There are no kids at school today - just a teacher inservice, so there's a chance we'll get out early. And, I've already planned my meals which I'll post about later if I actually stick to it. (I know...great attitude). I'm going to try to take a nap when I get home because there's no way I'll be able to sleep until the election is called. So - here I go. Restart take 3!