yikes

Yesterday unraveled a bit, but it's still not bingey and that's still my measure of good or bad.
I wasn't hungry at all in the morning, so I skipped breakfast which turned out well because I had a huge lunch.
That was the one thing I entered in SparkPeople before I stopped keeping track and it added up to 750 calories with the veggie burger, fake bacon, bun, cheese, sweet potato for fries, olive oil for cooking those (now I know I could've used less), etc...
The rest of the day I didn't photograph or count too closely....
There was a potato chip, um, incident and I have no idea how much I had. I'm trying to see how much is left in the bag this morning and Ryan's trying to remember how much of them he ate, but it's a guess at best. I tried to recreate the food journal this morning and I think I had ~2,100 calories and about double the fat I should've.
I had a very light dinner of leftover brown rice, steamed veggies and tofu (about half as much as last night), but then had a glass of wine and Ryan and I sampled a few of our chocoaltes (Indian curry/coconut, dark with almonds and dark with cocoa nibs).

With the chocolate and cheese this is the first day I've gone over my saturated fat limit. And with the chips, this is the first day (I think) that I've gone over in sodium.
Maybe I should be more upset at my choices, but that's life and it's going to happen and I'm moving on. I was very crave-y all day and had to run out to Walmart by myself for something, but got what I was there for (a funnel and rubbing alcohol for Ryan's home brew experiment) and nothing else - no junk food. Small victory.

We have a good day planned today - eating and otherwise. Ryan's mom and aunt Mary are coming to visit Ryan for his 25th birthday. His birthday was actually a month ago but this is the first weekend that everyone's been in town and off work since.
I'm obviously not hungry for breakfast.
For lunch we're grilling out. We're going to make a salad and try to recreate the yummy roasted veggie panini sandwich Ryan had at Greenlife in Asheville last weekend. We got a bunch of different cheeses but are probably going to use goat cheese. We're using ciabatta bread so it'll be a little different, but good.
I'm off to look up marinades for the eggplant and portobello mushrooms and then try to get some studying done before they arrive.
:)

tracking calories

Yesterday went well.
I planned ahead for the whole week, so I'm excited about what's coming up - I think Diet Girl wrote a post about this recently...or maybe it was in her book....I don't know, but either way, she's right on. I can definitely see how having a planned, nutritious, yummy meal to look forward to would curb cravings.
I felt satisfied and happy with everything I ate yesterday, it was all good for me, and the calories were evenly spaced out so my energy stayed up. I'm so glad I have the time while I'm on spring break to track nutritional info. I'm starting to record that info for foods I eat frequently so that I won't have to spend so much time looking it up and so I'll have a better sense of how to plan my days when I'm not on break.

Yesterday I walked for 40+ minutes for exercise.
Food Journal -
Breakfast: 6 oz. plain, nonfat, Chobani Greek yogurt with 1/4 c. Ezekiel flax cereal, 1 banana and 7 almonds (347 cal., 6 g. fat, 55 carbs, 25 g. protein)
Lunch: Romaine salad with peas, carrots, red pepper, red cabbage, 2 tbsp. sunflower seeds, 2 oz. peanut ginger tofu and dressing with 2 tbsp. balsamic vinegar, 1 tsp. flaxseed oil and 1 tsp. olive oil with seasonings (345 cal., 22 g. fat, 25 carbs, 14 g. protein)
Snack: 1 oz. cheddar cheese, 9 rice crackers, 1 flax multigrain flatbread cracker (220 cal., 11 g. fat, 20 g. carbs, 9 g. protein)
Dinner: Split pea soup with potatoes, celery, parsley, and tempeh baked with olive oil; also split the rest of the cornbread from Greenlife with Ryan (368 cal., 11 g. fat, 53 g. carbs, 9 g. protein)
Dessert: apple with 1 tbsp. almond butter (183 cal., 10 g. fat, 24 g. carbs, 3 g. protein)

Totals: 1,462 calores, 60 g. fat (36.5%), 177 g. carbs (47.4%), 60 g. protein (16.1%), 30 g. fiber

So - pretty good except a little high on the fat - that's always where I'm off. I am going to try to watch that, but I'm not stressing too much because it's all 'good fat' except from the cheese.

Printable Nutrition Report

Today I'd planned to clean all day and watch some of my recorded shows from Monday, but Ryan's home sick, so I'll just clean up and then see what he feels up to. He almost fell asleep in the shower and was so dizzy he could barely stand. He's sleeping now. I think he's just exhausted, so it's a good thing we have nutritious meals planned and I'm home to take care of chores. His eating has been pretty bad lately, he hasn't had time for exercise and he has an hour and 15 min. commute to and from work everyday - I think all that's catching up with him. He was always super skinny, so never had to think about calories or 'diet'. I've always been heavier than I wanted to be (although now I'm kicking myself for hating my 135 pound body all those years and 30 pounds ago), but at least all that obsessing and worrying about my health and weight translates to a good understanding of nutrition now. I guess that's a benefit for all us serial dieters if we can channel it for good.

I'm so glad we have DVR now. I love my tv but can't justify all the time I'd spend watching it if I couldn't do chores at the same time and fast forward through commercials. (I probably still can't justify it, but that's not changing today)

I watch House, 24 and Medium and they're all on the same night, so I record them. I also watch CSI and usually record 18 Kids and Counting, Ace of Cakes, and sometimes watch other cooking shows like Iron Chef. I also sometimes watch Jon & Kate + 8, but I don't know what happened to that show - Jon and Kate seem different now - always angry and really short with the kids - and the kids are picking up on the adults' conflict resolution 'techniques', so it gets on my nerves. I know that's judgmental and they're probably great parents who are tired of having cameras around, but it just seems like the show was more fun to watch before Kate, especially, became a different person because of the success of the show. Hmmm...maybe I should stop watching if I'm going to be negative :)

Okay - I get a smoothie this morning :) Mmmmmm

better without sugar

I'm back at work and feeling relatively healthy! Luckily, since yesterday was a county-wide sick day, I didn't have to take any days off work.
I've been off sugar again since I got sick - today is the 5th day. I feel a lot better without sugar. I'm sure it wouldn't matter if I had a little, but if I had a little it would probably snow ball into a lot - I don't have a great track record there. I'm not having cravings....just commenting.

Yesterday I went to class and cleaned when I got home until after midnight. It felt great to make a dent in the disaster area that is my house.
We're having a hard time keeping up with chores with me always sick or recovering from being sick or scrambling to make up work that wasn't done when I was sick (or wasn't done because I didn't get it done) in time for a deadline. Ryan's exhausted from his hour and 15 minute drive to and from his internship everyday. Plus it's hard for him to get motivated to do his half of the chores when I'm not doing my half. Sometimes that irks me - like on Sunday when I woke up after a marathon 11 hour fever-filled night of sleep to see that Ryan was still there beside me. It makes me feel like 'mom'. Like, if I don't get up and set an example, no matter what the differences in our circumstances are, nothing will get done. I'm not saying I don't appreciate him or everything he does (like cooking, etc.), because I am extremely grateful for him, but I don't want to be mom. So I'm just going to try to get the rest of the cleaning finished this afternoon and then we'll just have regular chores to keep up with everyday. At this point it doesn't matter who does what - I just don't want it hanging over my head.

Eating has been fine since I haven't been allowing myself sugar. Of course, those days of not being able to swallow anything but soup helped keep the calories low too.

Today, so far, I've had an apple for breakfast and a bowl of brown rice, steamed veggies, teriyaki tempeh and cashews for lunch.
For dinner I'm going to see if our leftover lasagna is still good and have that if it is. If not, I'll have leftover tortellini with pesto or a veggie burger. I haven't decided.

For exercise...last week Ryan and I made that commitment to walk at least 20 minutes a day together, and for the days I've been home we've done well. Even on the really sick days we took a leisurely stroll around the block. If it's not raining we have a walking date today.
I haven't been counting calories or sticking to any plan, but I feel really good right now and think I'm going to just try to keep up with no sugar and 20 minute walks (as min. exercise standard) for now.

Asheville!

This weekend was really fun! I think Ryan was surprised and happy with everything we did.

Friday we left around noon and drove 3 1/2 hours to Asheville. We checked into our B&B - it was gorgeous! We stayed in the Ralph Waldo Emerson suite. It had a jacuzzi tub and one of those huge showers that sprays waters from nozzles on the wall as well as above. The room itself was beautiful with tall ceilings, a stone fireplace and a huge bed with tons of fluffy pillows.

We met one of Ryan's friends for dinner at The Laughing Seed Cafe - an awesome veggie restaurant. I had the tempeh Napolean - yum! After that we went to this bar/art gallery and the boys had beer while I just hung out.
Later we went back to our room and had hot cocoa in the jacuzzi :)

Saturday we were served a huge 3 course breakfast - we had warm pineapple and cheese (surprisingly good!), oatmeal creme brulee and a nut pastry.
Then we went to The Grove Park Inn Resort and Spa (super turn of the century fancy shmancy feeling). This is the place I want to come and stay if I ever get to a huge goal like my goal size or finishing grad school - a reward for something huge. Ryan had an hour long golf lesson while I sat in the cart. Then he played 9 holes while I went in the clubhouse with my laptop and tried to get some work done for a presentation I had due for class Monday.

After that we went to a place called Marco's pizza for lunch - Ryan remembered it as being good and wanted to go there. I wasn't too impressed. I ordered broccoli and spinach on my pizza and it came out wet and soggy. But he was happy and that's all that matters - it was his b-day.
We went to the Fresh Market next door and picked up a few bottles of wine to bring back to the B&B.

That afternoon, Ryan had an hour massage while I did some more work.
We went out and walked around downtown, had Indian for dinner at Mela's (soooo good, but we took most of it in a to-go box because we'd eaten so much already that day) and then went back to the room to nibble some chocolate b-day treats we'd picked up downtown, have a glass of wine and enjoy our room.

Sunday, Ryan woke up not feeling well - he has a cold. What I'd scheduled for us was an all day homebrew (beer) workshop, but since he wasn't really up to it, we went to the place it was going to be at (Hops and Vines) and he picked up a few bottles of beer to take home. We canceled and signed up for another workshop for 3 weeks from now. This is a beginners workshop so it's actually going to work out better than the one that was planned for his weekend - which was intermediate level (which we're not).

We then walked around downtown, went back to Laughing Seed for lunch, and got on the road back to Tennessee.

I'm so glad we went. It was an expensive weekend, but I wanted to do something big for his 25th, and I think it turned out really well. Asheville is the cutest town! And now we get to go back soon :) This time we'll just stay at the Hampton or something - and probably just 1 night unless we decide to make another weekend of it and go see Biltmore on that Saturday - I will be on spring break.

I think I've been on a little bit of a post-vacation let down since we've been back. I have a lot of work due this week and next and we're doing all these tedious standardized tests at work - it's hard to get my energy up for it all, but it's all good.
I'm happy we got to do all those thing and happy to be back at comfortable home :)

leaving today!

Yay :) We're going on our trip for Ryan's birthday today! I'm super excited. I think he's going to really enjoy everything. I have surprises for every day that I know he'll love. And when we get back I'll tell you what that is.
I decided that I would tell him everything we're doing for each day at the beginning of that day. Except for today when I'll tell him when we leave. Actually, I put little cutesy poems in his birthday cards to tell him :)
I still have a lot of work to do this weekend, so hopefully I can find some time here and there. Maybe Ryan will want to take a nap or something :) I'm not a napper, so that's good study time for me. He's going to do the driving once I tell him where we're going so I can do some work in the car. That's always tough with the laptop though. But I'll do what I can.
I need stuff from the internet and I doubt the little B&B we're going to has wireless, so I'm going to try to download the pages I need to my computer before we leave.

I weighed in today since I won't be here tomorrow and even though I wasn't 'dieting' all week, I was a little disappointed. As of yesterday I was down 2.2 pounds from last weigh-in and then all of a sudden today I jumped right back up exactly 2.2 pounds to 166.6 -the same as last weigh-in.
Silly body! I guess I did eat heavier yesterday - right at the end of the day and unplanned.

Breakfast: banana and granola bar
Lunch: leftover pesto tortellini - I just packed the rest into the little pesto container, so not much
Snacks until I got home at 9 - Mary's Gone crackers (13), cashews (small handful), raw red cabbage, carrots, 2 tbsp. roasted red pepper hummus
Dinner: (Ryan had surprised me and had it ready when I got home - I would've been okay without it, but it was yummy and the warmth was soothing to my cough) - a cup of potato and garlic soup, 3 slices of teriyaki tofu and a slice of toast with a sprinkling of olive oil and parmesan
Dessert: (really didn't need this - total impulse when Ryan brought it out - ate mindlessly while watching Top Chef - note to self: no snacking while watching food shows!) 5 Danish butter cookies

I'm don't have any plans to watch the diet while I'm out of town. I'm not going to go crazy, but I'm going to celebrate Ryan's b-day with him and not worry about it. Right now I'm mostly just concerned with avoiding binging or any hint of it like secret eating or eating emotionally, since those things crept back in the 2 weeks before this one and it scared me. And for me, I usually don't have a problem making healthy choices when I'm not doing those things. I love veggies and fruits and whole grains and all sorts of healthy foods - I don't like greasy foods or fast food at all - I do have a serious sweet tooth, but it's okay when I'm eating out and sharing and being social.

I'm off to pack, then I have half a day of work and we're on our way!

Ewwwww

I may have pinkeye.....sooooo gross! Not an attractive post - don't read this if you'll be disgusted with eye details, okay? Okay.
I'm not sure - it's not bad. I was extra goopy when I woke up, but not stuck closed. I'm blodshot on one side, but not totally pink. Yesterday I was super itchy and cruddy in my eye...
I had trouble studying because it's in my right eye and it was making it hard to see out of that eye. I have good vision in my right eye and that's the only reason I don't wear glasses - that eye takes over - if I close my right eye I can't see well enough to read without a lot of strain.

I read about it on WebMd and it said it can be the super-contagious if it's viral or bacterial, but can also be caused by allergies. My sore throat is actually better, but I've had a cough and conjestion and been very sneezy for a few days....could be a cold. I also have allergies - so - could be no big deal. I am at higher risk than most because I work in a cess pool...I mean a school.
It's Sunday, so my Dr.'s not in her office . I'm torn about whether I should just wait and see if it's allergy-related and gets better or if I should go in and be seen in case I need to wait 24 hours until I can go back in to work - I'd rather not take a sick day over this.

The Pre-K assistant who works in the room next door to me said that the doctor she goes to sees about 8 other teachers from my school - and says that they all go to him with the same symptoms. He thinks it's connected to the building we work in - he thinks the building is making us sick. There's visible mold on some of the ceiling pipes. The building is OLD - maybe 90 years? And it's been condemned. But I'd assumed it was safe for us to use it after our old school had a fire the spring before I came here. Can a building be un-condemned?! All I know is what I can see - which is super shady floors that feel like they're about to break through when you walk on them and windows that have quite noticable drafts rushing through them...plus the crap on the pipes....
I don't know, but it would be interesting to see if we have a higher rate of being sick than teachers and kids at other schools - if our allergies are worse - if we're out for more sick days/absences, etc.

Anyway...enough rambling.
Yesterday wasn't great for my diet, but here it is.

- I had an apple for breakfast.
- I was still starving mid-morning so I had a slice of Ezekiel bread with 1 tsp. olive oil and nutritional yeast for a snack.
- We went to Indian Buffet for lunch and I filled up my plate once but didn't go back. I had a cold chick pea/apple salad, rice and 2 triangles of naan with a scoop of a lentil dish (dal makhani, I think), a scoop of a potato dish (it was new....just potatoes and seasoning) and a scoop of a spinach dish (saag...umm...i don't know). I also had chutney and a few onion pakora.
- Later I stopped at Walgreens for Kleenex and Valentine's Day cards and got 2 Cadbury Eggs, a marzipan chocolate piece and an almond chocolate bar - and ate them all that afternoon. So much for my resisting cravings post.
- I was obviously stuffed after that so I didn't eat anything else for the rest of the day except some baby carrots.
Forgot my multi.
Drank plenty of water.

Ryan bought himself some cheap golf clubs at Walmart and went out to play yesterday. I felt bad about not going with him because it was Valentine's Day, but I was trying (and miserably failing) to get my work done. He was romantic and said that everyday was Valentine's Day and we could plan as if it were February 14th any day I wanted. Or everyday. He's a keeper. ;)
I'm going to try to read about 10 pages in my text (which will literally take me an hour if I stay focused...pathetic) and then take my laptop out and at least ride on the golf cart with him while I work. (he wants to go out again today).

Wish we had President's Day off so I could relax about the work, but we used too many snow days and the board voted to make it an attendance day...no biggie, really, but I feel bad if anyone had made 3 day Valentine's Day weekend plans in advance and had to cancel or take a personal day.

Alright - I'd better get movin'!

Weigh-Day

166.6
+0.8 from last week (but down 3 lbs. since 2 days ago when I put a stop to eating the house down)
-9.4 total
51.6 to goal

About what I expected. This is just 1.2 less than what I weighed when I started the detox.
The past 2 days have been good for diet, the 11 days before that - terrible! I'm actually lucky I haven't gained more.
I haven't exercised in 2 weeks.

It's a frustrating, unhealthy cycle I've gotten myself into, but all I can do is try my best today.
I might take Ryan out to Indian Buffet for Valentine's Day, but if I do that I'll eat light the rest of the day.

I'm off to get a pile of work done.
Trying to be extra productive so I don't have to bring work with for my weekend away with Ryan for his 25th b-day next week. :)
I'm sooo excited.
I hope he loves what we're doing although I can't talk more about it because even though I don't think he reads my blog, it's not a secret from him and, well...you never know when he'll get curious.

Oops - almost forgot my food journal from yesterday

breakfast: rice cake w/1 tbsp. almond butter
lunch: lentil veggie soup
snack: 12 (?) baby carrots, 13 Mary's Gone crackers and 2 tbsp. roasted red pepper hummus
dinner: 2 pieces of Ryan's shepherd's pie (tofu/veggie)
snack: orange
I remembered my multi and drank at least 10 cups of water - I was thirsty!

Didn't add up points or calories. I'd say ~24 points if I had to guess and maybe ~1400 cal.
I should enter it later just to see if I'm guessing close or not.
I wish SparkPeople had a recipe function like the WW recipe builder - where you just enter your recipe and the number of servings and it figures out the info in each. I know I could do it manually, but it would be convenient if the site did it for me. They don't have that feature, do they? Hmmm.
A little low on protein and veggies but not too bad. Normally I'd have more veggies with snack but I need a trip to the grocery store.